SUN, MON, January 20, 21, 2013

SO HELP ME GOD -- President Obama's second inauguration on Sunday turned out to be even more historic than his first.  He became so emotionally effected when Justice Roberts swore him in on the same bible that Abraham Lincoln used, he freed the entire on-air staff of the BET channel and then tossed in Oprah for good measure.

PUMP YOU UP -- "Downton Abby" has turned out to be one of the biggest hits from Britland in decades.  Not everyone is a fan, however.  In one episode a Grantham daughter has a baby fathered by her chauffeur and now Arnold Schwarzenegger is suing for royalties claiming the script writer got the idea from him.

HOOKER HILTON -- Preparing to host  next year's World Cup Soccer Match and the 2016 Olympics, Brazil has converted many of Rio's notorious brothels to standard hotels to help ease the housing shortage.  Some vestiges of their former use may still be evident, though.  For instance, a few of the ice machines will still dispense condoms, whips and lubricants.

DJANGO RECHAINED -- After Al Sharpton’s National Action Network asked the producers of “Django Unchained” to pull the film’s  action figures from toy store shelves because they “are offensive and trivialize the horrors of slavery,” the toys were discontinued. This was the loudest outcry over action figures since the National Association of Household Help claimed that Arnold Schwarzenegger's were demeaning to maids.

RELOCATED -- Abigale Van Buren, who along with her identical twin Ann Landers, virtually dominated the newspaper lovelorn advice trade for over four decades, died at 94 in Minneapolis.  But fret not.  Dear Abby's wise and witty columns will continue.  She was buried along with Apple's new "Hereafter 650" laptop with unlimited wifi range and a long life battery. 

(Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved)

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- Watch Johnny's and over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else!  Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92.  Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov).  Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget!

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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.