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FRI, SAT, January 18, 19, 2013

THE HOLE TRUTH -- L.A. police department dispatchers issued an all points bulletin celebrating the announcement from Dunkin' Donuts that they will be franchising hundreds of stores throughout Southern California.  In deference to President Obama's assault weapons ban, they'll restrict their take-out cartons to six donuts and refuse to sell high-velocity sprinkles.

PLANT MANAGER -- Sheriff's deputies in Castro Valley, California uncovered $100,000 worth of pot being guarded by "Mr. Teeth," a large caiman -- a crocodile-like reptile from South America.  Prosecutors have not released the name of it's owner, referring to him only as "Mr. Dundee."    
 
 

BROWN SHORTS SHORTED -- American Express will pink slip 5400 employees to make the company, according to a company spokesman, "more nimble, more efficient and more effective."  Yeah, sure.  Actually, the revenue gained from the cuts will go toward paying AmEx's horrendous double-parking fines.


INTO THE FOLD -- Korean electronics giant Samsung has unveiled a foldable smart phone.  Now, this may not seem very useful to you, but it's a Godsend to supermodels like Kate Moss who can now bend their phones into a tube to poke their maids with.

BE PREPARED -- A judge in Santa Barbara, California ordered the Boy Scouts of America to turn over 120,000 pages of records in a sex abuse civil suit brought against the organization.  Good luck with that.  The records were printed on sheets of dried birch bark with charcoal sticks as part of the scouts' "record-keeping in the outdoors" training.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved


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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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