WEDNESDAY, January 2, 2012

NO GATORADE -- New Years Eve 2012 will forever be known as the NFL's "Monday Night Massacre" as a record seven coaches were shown the locker room door including the Oakland Raiders' Hue Jackson, the Miami Dolphins’ Tony Sparano and the Kansas City Chiefs’ Todd Haley.  But the owners were inventive.  Who knew shredded pink slips make good confetti?

SELF-EVIDENT -- January first marked the 150th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation, the historic document in which President Lincoln freed the slaves, much to the displeasure of southerners who had enjoyed owning them.   A little-publicized provision also conferred on Quentin Tarentino the exclusive right to make a violent movie about it.

CORKED -- Once the world's King of Bubbly, French champagne has lost its effervescence with domestic and foreign sales down 5%.  With the economy on the skids, few can afford the luxury brands that sell for as much as $1250 a bottle.  Cutbacks are evident.  Last month, the new French Line cruise ship "S.S. Charles Du Gaul" was christened with a bottle of Gatorade.


BRING IT HOME -- Discovery's "United States of Bacon" visits restaurants that feature inventive entrees like bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, bacon-cheddar apple pie and bacon Margaritas.  The porcine theme dominates.  Guests sampling the creations who suffer cardiac seizures are revived with defibrillator paddles shaped like ham hocks. 

VICK'S LAW -- Among new laws in California that took effect on new Year's Day is a provision that raises the fine from $5000 to $10,000 for causing bears, bulls or roosters to fight with other animals.  Exempted are kangaroos, employees of a flea circus and guests on "The Jerry Springer Show." 


Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.