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WEDNESDAY, December 12, 2012


                                                               
                                                SEASON'S GREETINGS

STIFF OPPOSITION -- During a recent interview on ESPN, Bears wide-receiver Brendan Marshall confessed that some of his teammates take Viagra as a form of performance-enhancing drug.  Some special rules apply, however.  Players are advised to call the NFL Commissioner if they experience a tackle that lasts over four hours.
 

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! -- In the probable Academy Award nominee "Flight," Denzel Washington delivers a chillingly accurate performance as an alcoholic airline pilot who successfully averts total disaster by flying his plane upside down while soused.  Of course, the U.S. airline industry totally denies the film's accuracy.  In one scene, food is shown being served on board.   
 

TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN -- Denny's Las Vegas will soon offer the "Marriage Slam" -- a complete nuptial ceremony including a wedding cake of stacked flapjacks accompanied by "Bacontinis," bacon-flavored martinis.   And the best part is, the usual Denny guarantee applies.   If the marriage doesn't last at least 30 minutes, they toss in a free divorce.   

 
 

WHAT'S IN A NAME? -- Switching from the image of a painful stinger to that of harmless waddling, the New Orleans Hornets of the NBA are changing their name to the "Pelicans," an icebound  bird that can't fly.  Management got the idea after observing the quality of the team's full court press and their lay-ups.
 

GAMMA DELTA HANDCUFFS -- Harvard University has become the first American college to approve an S&M Bondage Club on its campus.  Qualifications for membership are much less stringent that joining a fraternity.  If you enjoy the hazing, you're automatically in.


 
Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved 



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