FRI, SAT, December 7, 2012

ROYAL NAUSEA -- In London, the Duchess of Cambridge was released from the hospital where she was treated for a rare case of acute morning sickness brought on by her unborn heir to the crown.  And none too soon.  According to palace sources, she was growing weary of having to say to her Lady in Waiting every five minutes... "Hurl."

RED BUTTONS PASTRAMI ON RYE -- New York's legendary Stage Delicatessen, beloved hangout of generations of Broadway and TV actors and comedians, has sliced its last corned beef and submerged its final matzo ball.  Over the years,  the cholesterol-rich sandwiches were lovingly named after each celebrity who suffered a heart attack while eating it.

RELOAD -- Hugh Hefner is again engaged to marry 26-year old Crystal Harris after the couple amicably agreed to call off the nuptials last June and she moved out of the Playboy Mansion.  So here's your second chance -- if you'd like to send a gift, the couple is registered at "Bed, Bath & Beyond the Safe-to-Marry By Date."

EVERYONE'S A CRITIC -- Failing to survive on Broadway for even a month, Kathie Lee Gifford's religious-themed "Scandalous" had its final performance on Sunday night.  To add another helping of disappointment to Kathie's plate, she got word that even her old pard, Regis, thought it was lousy.

SCALES  OF JUSTICE -- To stem the disappearance of small birds and mammals, wildlife officials in the Florida Everglades have launched the "2013 Python Challenge" offering $1500 for the most Burmese pythons captured.  Herpetologists believe that the non-indigenous constrictors that can reach 20 feet long and 200 pounds somehow slipped into the state during the 1999 National Bar Association Convention in Tampa.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.