WEDNESDAY, December 5, 2012

THE REAL THING -- Los Angeles County was at the soggy end of a series of rare rainstorms which dropped up to six inches in some locations.  Local TV reporters were thrilled -- being able to actually wade into rampaging water wearing hip-boots instead of just wading into the surf at Malibu after Lindsay Lohan has driven her car into it.

DECLAWED -- Finishing in a dismal tie for fourth in his own tournament he used to win regularly, a disappointed Tiger Woods told reporters at the Sherwood Country Club that "My game just wasn't there."  Oops, sorry -- that was the seven-figure balance in his savings account after his ex-wife Elin attached it.

BLESSED ARE THE FOLLOWERS -- Starting December 12, Pope Benedict XVI will be Twittering with the handle @pontifex which is Latin for "pontiff and bridge-builder."  The Vatican has been on the cutting edge of Internet technology since the reign of Pope Stevejobus XII -- the one who sold Moses the idea of putting the Ten Commandments on tablets. 

LE KABOOM -- A letter hand-written by Napoleon Bonaparte in 1812 in which he threatens to blow up the Kremlin sold at auction in Fontainebleau, France for $200,000.  Apparently, the addressee, French Foreign Minister Hugues-Bernard Maret, thought it was a hoax.  He scribbled a note across the bottom instructing his secretary to "Call the men in the white coats.  This guy thinks he's Napoleon."
QUARTERS ONLY -- A book dealer in Toronto, Canada stuck with overstocked shelves has come up with the novel idea of selling them, at random, from a vending machine for $2 each.  It's very much like winning the lottery, losing weight or improving your sex life except you just read about people who won the lottery, lost weight or improved their sex life.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved 

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else!  Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92.  Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov).  Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget!

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.