TUESDAY, December 18, 2012

SPARE A DIME? -- Upscale Cathay Pacific Airways fired a cabin attendant after she told friends on Facebook that she harbored a secret desire to toss hot coffee on unruly passengers.  But not because it would be wrong or prompt a lawsuit, but because it gives the erroneous impression that today's passenger airliners are equipped to provide coffee or any other consumable liquid. 

HOKUS BOGUS -- The TSA in Los Angeles recently displayed counterfeit products they intercepted  in "Operation Holiday Hoax."  Among the lookalikes were Kobe Bryant jerseys, iPhone cases, Burberry scarves and Louis Vuitton purses.  They have a surefire authenticity test.  They ask themselves "Would Lindsay Lohan try to shoplift this?"

SPOKES MAN -- New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is encouraging people to ride their bikes to work to help improve air quality.  There are side benefits to bike riding, too, like helping to lower the crime rate.  Which makes a lot of sense if you've ever tried stuffing a body into the trunk of a bicycle.  

ONE-A-DAY -- Fidel Castro has made a habit of visiting        Venuzuelan president Hugo Chavez as he recovers from surgery in a Havana hospital.  And Chavez's doctors aren't too happy with the visits.  Every time Fidel drops in, he brings Hugo a box of Cuban cigars.

SANTA BABY -- A research team from the University of Toronto recently conducted a study to determine what Santa might ask for, if he could sit on his own lap.  Results are still coming in, but so far, it involves a leather cummerbund, a whip and three elves.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.