;

SUN, MON, December 2, 3, 2012

HOCKED SILVER BELLS -- There are multiple signs that Americans are cutting back on their usual Christmas spending thanks to massive unemployment.  For instance, the annual Boston Pops Christmas Concert replaced their usual repertoire with more timely titles like "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like a 1929 Christmas," "I'll Be Homeless For Christmas" and "Deck the Halls With Boughs of Food Stamps."
 

BAD TIMING -- According to a study published in the Annals of Neurology, Americans face a 14% chance of meeting their Maker on their birthday.  Most victims are middle-aged men with bad hearts who are thrown a surprise party by buddies who hire a naked hooker to jump out of a cake.
 

PITTARD HOISTING -- Ultra-fashion conscious women are now resorting to having their pinky toes surgically removed to insure that their new designer shoes will fit.  Known as "stiletto surgery," the irreversible procedure leaves its victims with only four toes per foot -- uh, considering their judgement, make that "per hoof."

 
 

FOLD 'EM -- A Manhattan dermatologist offers his patients "Pokertox" injections that are guaranteed to help mask facial giveaways that tip poker opponents of the hand they're holding.   Most patients are happy with the results and claim they don't mind spending the rest of their lives looking like Kenny Rogers. 
 


SUCH A CLATTER -- Former NBC Universal chief Jeff Zucker has been tapped to head up the floundering CNN with hopes that he can stem the steady viewer drain to MSNBC and Fox.  His appointment couldn't have come at a more appropriate season.  Zucker and Blitzer sound like two of Santa's reindeer.


======


Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved




THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else!  Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92.  Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov).  Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget!
www.youtube.com/thelaughmakers
=======

Click here to add theme music to your reading experience...

THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

http://www.leonardmaltin.com/2009YearEndBookSurvey.htm

Even Animals Love "THE YouTube WORLDWIDE NEWS"!


THE LAUGH MAKERS is now on KINDLE! (And Kindle equipped devices)

Download THE LAUGH MAKERS to your Kindle within one minute (for $2.99) by clicking on this link:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D9EPO

And if you're not yet a Kindle owner, when you purchase your new lower-priced Kindle with a capacity of 3500 books, be sure to sign up for our daily blog so you won't miss one issue of the web's most entertaining and insightful comments on the day's events... or a single serialized installment of THE LAUGH MAKERS. Order your Kindle today!


WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004IZLXIQ