;

FRI, SAT, December 28, 29, 2012

UPPER CLASS ACTION -- In the largest settlement of a class action suit ever, Toyota agreed to pay $1.1 billion to buyers of 2010 cars that suddenly accelerated for no reason.  But recalls aren't limited to mid-priced autos.  Recently, Great Britain's Bentley Motors had to recall 743 luxury sedans when they developed a tendency to turn into the parking lots of restaurants with less than five stars.


MASTERS AND STARBUCKS -- Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz requested that all employees in the Washington D.C. area stores  print, while checking the customer's order box on each cup, the words "Come together."  The American Institute of Family Planning immediately issued a press release asking what qualifications Mr. Schultz has to give sexual advice.



COLD DEAD HANDS -- L.A.'s Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa hosted a firearms buyback auction that paid gift premiums for groceries -- $100 for handguns and shotguns and $200 for assault weapons.  That's the good news.  The bad news is he plans to have them melted down into a statue of Charlton Heston.





 





FIREMEN -- National Sleep Day on January 2, California sheet-maker Anna's Linens surveyed 3700 customers and determined that 74% sleep in pajamas while only 8% sleep with nothing on at all.   Of those men who sleep naked, 34% hang their clothes on a nearby chair for quick retrieval in the event her husband comes home early.

OFF THE ROAD AGAIN -- According to the "Safe Driving for Older Adults" booklet issued by the U.S. Department of Transportation, signs that it may be time for elderly drivers to hand over the keys are decreased vision, hearing loss, slower reaction time and reduced strength, coordination and flexibility.    In other words, when you've turned into Willie Nelson.


Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else!  Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92.  Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov).  Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget!
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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