CRADLE CRASHER -- Twenty-six year old Crystal Harris, the Playboy bunnette who unceremoniously dumped Bunny-ville founder Hugh Hefner, 87, at the altar a year ago is reportedly back in his hutch in good standing. According to friends, he'll be more financially alert this time before setting a date. Last time, he had to pay $380 for a rented tux he didn't use.
PEDDLE POOCH -- A group of professional cyclists training for the Tour De France attracted a stray dog who ended up running along side them for the entire 1100 mile marathon across twelve mountains in China from Kangding in Sichuan province to Lhasa, Tibet. The intrepid pooch they named "Won Ton Tin" landed an agent and is now making the rounds of Shanghai's morning chat shows.
PROTECTION RACKET -- Discouraged by their lack of success promoting total abstinence, New York's Bedford-Stuyvesant High School decided to provided free condoms to all couples attending this year's Senior Prom, but there was such an uproar they reconsidered. Actually, the free handout would have been a perfect tie-in with this year's Roman History theme -- "Remembering the Trojan Wars Under the Stars."
LIGHT SABERS -- The year George Lucas propelled "Star War"s across America's movie screens, we couldn't pass up an opportunity to spoof it. Our version, entitled "Scar Wars," starred Olivia Newton-John as Princess Hialeah, Perry Como as Luke Sleepwalker, and Hope as Barf Vader. The epic would recount the abduction of Santa Claus, complete with his sled and reindeer, literally gobbled up by Vader's space vehicle. (We ordered a small model of a space ship with a set of iron jaws in the front from the prop department.) This sketch was taped in 1978.
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved