TUESDAY, June 5, 2012

APRIL SHOWERS -- Penn State’s ex-assistant football coach Jerry Sandusky faces what court officials predict will be several weeks of testimony on fifty-two counts involving sexual molestation of children in the Penn State shower room.  The proceedings in Bellefonte, PA  have attracted the largest international press coverage -- 250 registered reporters and 29 television transmission trucks -- since the Scopes Monkey trial in 1925.  There are other similarities as well.  In both cases, a sub-human species was being tried.

UP PERISCOPE! -- Embarrassed officials at Fox News and producers of “My Fox DC” had to apologize for a story they reported that the USS Illinois, a nuclear submarine sponsored by First Lady Michelle Obama, would be commissioned with an all-female crew.  According to a Navy Department spokesman, they had considered an all-female crew but scuttled the idea after someone pointed out that it would be like giving a nuclear weapon to the cast of “The View.” 

DETAILS AT ELEVEN -- Philadelphia’s WTXF-TV weatherman John Bolaris lost his job for violating the morals clause in his contract after telling Miami police he had sex with two gorgeous Russian women he’d met in a South Beach, Florida bar and next night, was taken on a tour of local nightspots.  He   remembers nothing more until waking up in his hotel room hungover with $43,712 charged to his American Express card.  Viewers now know that when he predicted “…unseasonable activity with considerable warming and possible lightening,” he was talking about inside his shorts. 

ASBESTOS JIF -- Publishing their findings in Environmental Health Perspectives Magazine, researchers at the University of Texas discovered that peanut butter contains a fire-retardant chemical called HBCD that’s found in common products like furniture, carpets, electronics, car seats and some clothing.  While the chemical can cause problems in the endocrine and reproductive systems, it does have one plus – it absolutely prevents fires from breaking out on the roof of your mouth.

             YouTube VIDEO of the DAY

FINE TOOTH COMB -- Whenever Jimmy Durante appeared on a Hope special, he brought with him the entire history of vaudeville. He epitomized show business and was never better than in this rare clip from a Hope special originally taped in 1962. It is indeed priceless.

Hope had turned 85 years old in May 1988 and NBC marked his fiftieth year with them -- radio and TV combined. So, despite the Writers Guild strike which was ongoing at the time, a gigantic 3-hourparty was staged at the NBC studios in Burbank. This clip was included in that special.

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.