A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
TUESDAY, June 26, 2012
UNHAPPY GILMORE -- If
gross box office receipts and national reviews are to be believed, Adam
Sandler’s “That’s My Boy” may well be the worst movie of all time. In fact, it’s so rotten, industry analysts are
predicting that Sandler may never be
allowed to produce another film. He may
have to revive his “Wedding Singer” character – not the movie, in real life
just to get by.
AND CRACKERJACK -- The San Francisco Giants once awe-inspiring starter Tim
Lincecum is currently
languishing in one of the worst pitching slumps in recent MLB history.
The '08 and '09 Cy Young winner has gone 3 and 8 with a dismal 6.19 ERA. Tim's not superstitious, but the signs are
there. Last time he was sent to the showers, he
glanced down and noticed his non-skid bathmat had Jerry Sandusky's name
embossed on it.
RELEASE -- Fish and Game officials in Chatham, Massachusetts have detected
transmitter signals on several Great White sharks they tagged last summer.
Extensive GPS data collected show that, since last year the tagged sharks returned
to the northern coast of Australia, found mates, and attended the American Bar
Association Convention in New Orleans.
FOR $300 ALEC -- Longtime “Jeopardy” host Alec Trebek was rushed to
Cedars-Sinai Hospital in Los Angeles with symptoms of a mild heart attack. Took the docs about three hours to admit him,
having to put all their questions in the form of an answer.
RIGHTY THEN -- Longing for the halcyon days of “Ace Ventura,” “The Mask,” and
“Dumb & Dumber,” Jim Carrey has put his five-bedroom Malibu Colony mansion up for sale
at $13.9 million. He’s finding out that
paying a household staff of thirty-eight takes more than just being able to do
a dead-on impression of a Hollywood movie star able to churn out hit-after-hit.
DOWN MEMORY'S DIAMOND LANE
OUCH -- It's June, 1979 and here Bob Hope and I are comparing war wounds —
actually, our reaction to the myriad shots we had to get before
departing for the Orient. In 1979, China required inoculations against
everything from chicken pox to restless leg syndrome so we all reported
to a doctor in Hollywood who gave us a group rate. I just wish he
hadn’t used the same needle. Today, no shots are required to visit China. I guess we’ve
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved
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"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."
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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99
Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.