MONDAY, August 1, 2011

Jeopardy host Alex Trebeck surprised a burglar in his San Francisco Hotel room and chased him down the hall, tearing his Achilles Tendon in the process.  The thief got away but not before tossing the loot in an ice machine.  And now, in the form of a question -- "What famous game show host stays in hotels where you have to get your own ice?"

In danger of losing its triple A credit rating for the first time in history, the U.S. has been given the chilling news by the Treasury department that Apple Computer's cash reserves of $76.4 billion exceed the $73.7 billion currently held by the government.  Apple CEO Steve Jobs was unavailable for comment, said to be busy assembling a cabinet and preparing for his inauguration. 

A survey on underage drinking shows that Vermont is the teen-tippler capital of the nation with 36% of 12 to 20-year-olds admitting to sampling John Barleycorn.  Hey, this is Vermont, folks.  Wouldn't you think their parents could tell the difference between J&B Scotch and Dolly Madison pancake syrup?

Embarrassed executives at Continental Airlines admitted last week that twenty-four flights had to be cancelled because the airline ran out of pilots.  It's a strange story that's baffling the FAA.  There they all were, at the airport bar for a preflight pick-me-up when suddenly -- they were gone.

In an upcoming film based on the trapped Chilean miners, we finally learn how the miners were located so quickly.  The president of Chili calls the producer of "Entertainment Tonight," who leaks a false rumor that Lindsay Lohan has been
sentenced to perform community service in a Chilean mine and the paparazzi finds them.

FRI, SAT, SUN, July 29, 30, 31

In an attempt to lend a hand to American buyers who have hit on hard times, IKEA is offering cheaper assemble-yourself furniture.  And for evicted homeowners, the crate the parts come in easily converts into a makeshift homeless shelter.

Bowing to criticism that they have been a major contributor to childhood obesity, McDonald's will offer kids a more healthy "Happy Meal" that includes fruit along with a smaller portion of French Fries.  New name, too.  From now on it will be called the "Be Happy It's Not All Broccoli Meal." 

The city of Fremont, Michigan hosted their first annual Baby Food Festival last week.  Keynote speaker was an executive from Gerber's whose talk was entitled "Don't Knock Strained Carrots -- Wait 'Til You're Toothless in a Senior Retirement Center."  

Formerly the quickie marriage capital of the world, Las Vegas is in such a slump, they're now encouraging people to renew their wedding vows.  One cut-rate chapel is offering a great deal to repeat customers.  If you'll renew your vows, they'll renew the thin layer of gold that quickly wore off the cheap wedding ring they sold you.

A man in southern California got tired of waiting for Medicare, so he decided to perform his own hernia surgery at home.  Then strange things happened.  His handwriting became illegible, he developed an overwhelming desire to play golf on Wednesdays and he over-billed himself.

THURSDAY, July 28, 2011

Top Pentagon general David Petraeus has left his command in Afghanistan to assume his new assignment heading up the C.I.A.  The Agency works undercover in plain clothes which could be a problem for him.  In the Army "plain clothes" means wearing only half your medals.

An alarming study has discovered that children now spend so much time indoors playing video games, they lack Vitamin D, an essential nutriant found in sunlight.  Or, as those of you who grew up taking Flintstone Vitamins know it --  "Pebbles."

Major crimes committed against farmers are on the rise including livestock and crop theft, extortion and farmhouse invasion robberies.  The problem is growing so rapidly, CBS is rushing to develop a new Fall series called "CSI:  Green Acres."

Yuo Ming, the first Chinese-born basketball player to make it to the NBA, has hung up his Adidas.  Throughout his career, he was a perfect role model for NBA players.  He was never charged with a DUI, never caught with a gun in his locker and never had to buy expensive jewelry for his wife. 

A study conducted by anthropologists from Oxford University concluded that the human eye becomes larger the further away from the equator the person lives due to the necessity of processing images in subdued light.  The phenomenon was confirmed by male boys age 13-18 observing their first bare female breasts in a darkened bedroom.

WEDNESDAY, July 27, 2011

A free fall skydiver in Minnesota found his iPhone in perfect working order after he had dropped it from 13,000 feet.  Falls aren't the problem.  Tiger Woods proved that the most dangerous distance is the three feet between the message screen and a wife's eyes.

According to court records, Kim Kardashian has filed a multi-million dollar
lawsuit against Old Navy for unauthorized use of her image in an ad.  It isn't 
likeness to her that Kim objects to --  it's the men's T-shirts the ad is trying to sell:   "I'm With Trailer Trash." 

Tourists are taking advantage of Jefferson City Missouri's offer of an overnight in jail for only $30. plus tax and gratuity.  The "Mugshot Special" includes a gruel dinner, a cellmate who plays the harmonica -- and you get to keep the tin cup and orange jumpsuit with "Missouri Dept. of Corrections" stenciled on the back.

A record price is expected to be bid for a Marilyn Monroe sex video only recently discovered in a rare film shop.  The video may sell for even more as an item of sports memorabilia.  The guy wearing the Lone Ranger mask and black socks bears a striking resemblance to Joe DiMaggio.

The youngest champion in U.S. Open history, 21-year old Rory McIlroy has broken up with his girlfriend of three years.  Neighbors recalled their final argument in which they heard her yell "It's our anniversary and you prefer to play GOLF?"

TUESDAY, July 26, 2011

"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" continues to rake in solid box office receipts.  But it may be at the cost of good health.  Accountants at Warner Bros. who have handled the cash pouring in have developed strange skin eruptions that dermatologists have named -- for want of a better term -- "hogwarts."

After Yankee fan Chris Lopez caught Derek Jeter's 3000th hit and gave it back to him without asking for money, Miller Brewing Company offered to pay off the generous lad's outstanding student loans.  Even better, Cameron Diaz has guaranteed him a bit part in "Bad Teacher 2."

The record heat wave blanketing the country has set records from coast-to-coast.  Last week Minnesota, the  ice-fishing capital of the world, posted a whopping 125 degrees.  It was so hot in Lake Wobegone, Garrison Keillor's prairie home companion was his room air conditioner.

After watching profits plummet for nearly a decade while the sales of e-books spiraled upwards, Borders Books have tossed in the towel.  And it's about time.  It was hard to tell which borders were the least popular, the bookstores or the ones in Arizona.

DC Comics has made the shocking announcement that Superman and Lois Lane are splitting up.  One would think that Superman has to be the best lover on earth, right?  Wrong!  Lois claims that by the time he extricates himself from those leotards, she's out of the mood.

MONDAY, July 25, 2011

Looks like the NFL players will reach an agreement with team owners any minute now. Turns out the big hangup isn't players' salaries, working conditions or pension benefits --  the coaches are pushing for a provision that would allow them to Photo Shop the Instant Replay.

Donald trump's wife, Ivanka, gave birth to a baby girl over the weekend.  Donald insists that he wasn't expecting a boy but can't seem to explain the Three Wise Men who showed up at New York University Hospital carrying gold, frankincense and myrrh.

An Atlanta Braves game was interrupted last week when a man dressed in a white satin, hand-embroidered wedding dress and high heels suddenly appeared on the field.  Before cops could hustle him off, a near-sighted umpire married him to Atlanta's third base coach.

The Tennessee department of Education reports that enrolment at Frayser High School in Memphis currently includes ninety pregnant students.   Hey, here's a great project for this year's Inter-Scholastic Science Fair:  "How Condoms Work."

According to a study commissioned by Men's Health Magazine, men who live in Lexington, Kentucky are the least likely to exercise.  A whopping 83% of the men surveyed there listed "The Colonel" as their personal fitness coach.

FRI, SAT, SUN, July 22, 23, 24, 2011

Following the World Cup win by Japan in women's soccer, news was released that five North Korean girls had tested positive for performance enhancing steroids.  Of course they all denied it.  One of them even threw out her bronze medal in protest.  But not before bending it in half.

The Dali Lama, currently on a world tour, stopped in at the White House for a meeting with President Obama.  When reporters told Sarah Palin of the visit, she said, "I think have a sweater made out of that."

Health inspectors from the state of Nevada have been called in to investigate reports that Las Vegas's Aria Resort and Casino was experiencing an outbreak of Legionnaire's Disease.  A similar outbreak was reported at the Lido, but it was French Foreign Legionnaire's Disease.

Charlie Sheen will now host a TBS series called "Anger Management."  In the first episode, he and guest Mel Gibson the throw furniture out the window, hack the set to pieces with machetes and sexually assault several female production assistants before Charlie announces that next week's guest will be Dr. Dru to explain it all.

Considered the most hated person in the world aside from Korea's Kim Jong Il , Casey Anthony decided to alter her appearance with plastic surgery.  But it looks like Casey's long nightmare will probably continue.  She had the surgeon try to duplicate Nancy Grace.

THURSDAY, July 21, 2011

A woman in Austin, Texas gave birth to a 16 pound baby.  The obstetrician got some laughs in the delivery room when he began singing the old
Tennessee Ernie hit "You load 16 pounds and what do you get...  another day older and deeper in debt. . . "

A team of psychologists has discovered that showing people photos that evoke unpleasant memories improved their memories overall.  They first noticed the phenomena when they showed Maria Shriver a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger and she suddenly remembered he's a Republican.

Lindsay Lohan's mom has signed to appear on "Dancing With the Stars."  By sheer coincidence, the Lindser will appear on a new show, "Dancing Around the Truth" with Star Jones.

A tiny insect called the lesser Water Boatman is, according to a study by the Cochrane Data Base, the loudest animal on earth relative to its size.  Its
mating call is produced when it rubs its sex organs on its abdomen.  No wonder.  If we did that, we'd be loud, too.

A teenager in Russia recently set a world record by typing the English alphabet on his iPad in 5.26 seconds.  He might have done it even faster, but he
was driving at the time.

WEDNESDAY, July 20, 2011

Publishing mega-mogul Rupert Murdoch was called before Parliament to answer questions about why his reporters hacked the telephones of private citizens to spy on their activities, collect data on their daily lives and use the personal information to coerce them to do his bidding.  There's a problem with that?  Haven't they heard of Google?

Maryland has passed a law requiring all high schools to add "Environmental Literacy" to their requirements to graduate.  Now they don't mean graduates must be versed in the complexities of climate change, air pollution and toxic waste disposal -- they must just be able to name the city their school is in. 

Despite a heroic effort that went into overtime, the American woman's soccer team failed to defeat Japan for the coveted World Cup.  Nonetheless, it was an historic match for the American net nymphs.  When the game was over, no one stripped down to their sports bra.

Former diamond wizard Roger Clemens was stunned when his perjury trial was dismissed on the first day because prosecutors introduced evidence the judge had ruled inadmissible.  What were they thinking?  What does a corked bat have to do with lying?

A North Dakota teacher, doing a research project on the state's early history, discovered a loophole in the constitution that could mean North Dakota is still a territory.  You think that's a shocker?  A college professor in Phoenix claims to have found a dog-eared scrap of parchment that proves Arizona still belongs to Mexico.

TUESDAY, July 19, 2011

After seven years of what appeared to be an idyllic marriage, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are calling in the divorce lawyers.  This is Jay-Lo's third go-round in Cupid's Rumpus Room.  Apparently, she's in the habit of adding a "butt" after her promise to love, honor and obey.

A contestant on the Jerry Seinfeld-produced "The Marraige Ref" has filed suit against Jerry for breaking up his marriage.  Seinfeld admitted that the show almost broke up his own marriage, too.  Mrs. Seinfeld happened to see it once.

A study commissioned by the Robert Wood Johnson Founbdation revealed that obesity rates in the South are reaching catastrophic levels -- to health,
well-being and lifespan.  They're really packing on the pounds down there.  Just last week, they had to punch three more holes in the Bible Belt.

A 747 taxiing on the runway of the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport clipped the tail on a smaller regional airliner.  The FAA, trying to put the most positive spin on the incident, explained that they were just trying to mate.

The Discovery Channel is gearing up for their much-anticipated annual "Shark Week."  Viewers will notice an added bonus this year.  They've added toxic mortgage brokers.

MONDAY, July 18, 2011

Unemployment is so rampant, no one has any money to gamble anymore.  So Las Vegas casinos are now allowed by law to take bets on non-sporting events like who'll become the next Miss America, which movie will win Best Picture and what brand of cold cuts Lady Gaga will wear at her next concert appearance.

The U.S. has bid a fond farewell to the Atlantis space shuttle, after years of faithful service despite stuck toilets, missing tiles and returns to Houston piggy-backed on a 747.  No, wait a minute -- sorry -- that's Oprah.

A mother in Austin, Texas gave birth to a boy who weighed over 16 pounds.   Luckily, the hospital is located next to a Home Depot because the obstetrician had to send out for barbecue tongs.

Some Catholics were outraged over reports that the Vatican was negotiating to purchase Orange County's Crystal Cathedral.   But here's the pope's reasoning -- he figures priests will think twice before molesting children in front of all those window washers.

The governor of Ohio has signed a bill that legalizes carrying a concealed weapon into a bar.  It's about time.  Finally, a better way to settle a bar tab than liar's dice.

FRI, SAT, SUN, July 15, 16, 17, 2011

An irate wife drugged her husband, tied him to their bed, cut off his penis and stuffed it down the garbage disposal.  Just his luck, they had just installed the new "Genital 500" from Waste King.

As they do each year at this time, tourists are flocking to Pomplona, Spain to drink excessively and then taunt panicked young bulls as they run down the city's narrow streets.    Many of them fall, slipping and sliding as they lose their balance.  And that's just in their own vomit before the bulls are even released.

Explaining how a potential terrorist managed to slip past airport screeners without any identification, a TSA watchdog group pointed out that there ave been 25,000 breaches of security at U.S. airports.  In their defense, a TSA official proudly pointed out that their x-ray machines have exposed six defective breast implants, an enlarged prostate and 116 Men's Warehouse suits falsely labeled "Armani."

Amid the usual English pomp and circumstance, the history-seeped British Open has begun at Royal St. George.  Interesting how the course got its
name.  Saint George was one of Jesus' favorite disciples -- and for good reason.  Somehow, he could always manage to get a starting time at the
exclusive Gomorrah Country Club.   

According to a national entomology study recently completed in Holland, Dutch motorists squash an estimated 133 billion flying insects every month.  
Whenever they spot an insect heading into their path, they just can't stop fast enough.  And with good reason.  You ever tried stomping on the brake
peddle wearing a wooden shoe?

THURSDAY, July 14, 2011

An international study found that Brits are happier and more productive listening to the radio than Americans watching TV and using the Internet.  Experts credit the difference to the excellence of the BBC, the greater proportion of college graduates in the UK, and the fact that there's no British version of Rush Limbaugh.

Leading Tour de France cyclist Frank Schleck was taken ill after a Dragonfly flew into his open mouth during the race.  As if those cyclists don't already have enough to worry about like getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet and abstaining from sex, now they'll have to brush their teeth with windshield wiper fluid.    

Following a weekend conjugal visit with her convict husband, a woman in Mexico was caught trying to sneak him out of the prison hidden in her luggage. She'd have gotten away with it, too, if the warden hadn't just purchased that new Swiss-trained husband-sniffing dog.

In response to calls to limit auto emissions, the White House has issued new mileage guidelines for electric cars and hybrids.  They're more all-inclusive than usual with special requirements for individual models.  For instance, a new Toyota must get at least 46.8 mpg on the highway and 37.2 city while the gas pedal is stuck to the floorboard. 

Facebook has partnered with Skype to enable users not only to communicate with their new friends, but to look at them while they're friending.  And from now on, you'll be able to post pictures of your weird-looking friends on your Wall.  They got the idea from the Post Office. 

WEDNESDAY, July 13, 2011

O.J. Simpson reportedly celebrated his 64th birthday this week with family members and the few friends he has.  After they all had ice cream and cake that someone else sliced, they sang several choruses of the Beatles hit "Will You Still Think I'm Guilty When I'm Sixty-Four?"

Many Catholics were outraged over reports that the Vatican was negotiating with the bankruptcy court referee to purchase Orange County's Crystal Cathedral.   The archbishop was quick to respond, telling them "Let he who lives in a glass cathedral cast the first stone."

According to the latest study on parenthood, a child today costs 22% more to raise  than one born in 1961.  In those days, parents saved a bundle on video games alone.  The only video game the kids had back then was guessing the pin count on "Bowling For Dollars."   

For the first time in its history Dunkin' Donuts is going public.  Which is great news for law enforcement.  From now on, when when cops pig out on empty calories, they can claim they're just helping their stock go up.

The owners of that 7,000 square foot L.A. mansion where the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge stayed over the weekend is now up for sale.  May take awhile to move, though.  Unless there's some buyer out there who's always longed to own a moat.

TUESDAY, July 12, 2011

Everyone thought it a little strange when Natalie Portman announced that she'd named her new baby boy "Aleph."  However, it was fully explainable.  Seems she intended to name the kid Ralph, but the nurse filling out the tag on the maternity ward crib was dyslexic.

A young woman in Richmond, Kentucky was arrested for stealing an expensive diamond ring by swallowing it at a jewelry store counter.  She's been charged with grand theft, shoplifting, and ingesting a controlled substance.  The good news:  an additional charge of concealing evidence will be dropped as soon as it shows up.

After the NBA Players Union rejected their latest offer, team owners staged a lockout.  The term "lockout" isn't entirely accurate -- the players  could still get to their lockers, but knowing that none of them have ever heard of Roman history, they just switched the combination locks to Roman numerals.

The California legislature passed a bill allowing school districts throughout the state to teach Gay History as an official course.  Already, state colleges have made it a prerequisite for degrees in Broadway Musicology, Interior Design and Anthropological Artifact Acquisition.

Archaeologists digging in Israel uncovered 3,000-year old tiles believed to have been made by the Philistines.  Graphologists concluded that the tiles were from an ancient lavatory when the inscription on them was translated to read:  "For a Good Time Call Bathsheba at "Sodom I-XIV-XXIX"

MONDAY, July 11. 2011

During their three-day visit to southern California, Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge visited Santa Barbara where the Prince got in a spirited polo match.  Afterwards he donated his mallet, saddle and jodhpurs to charity -- a night polo program for inner city gang members. 

After several postponements, the trial of seven-time Cy Young Award winner Roger Clemons has gotten underway.  Court watchers are pretty sure he'll start lying again, though.  At his request, he was sworn in on a copy of "Beat the Odds My Way" by Pete Rose.

A coffee grower in Malaysia has developed a method of adding Viagra to a special blend of beans.  Solid sales, but a weird side-effect.  Men who begin drinking it regularly know what they're supposed to do but are too nervous to do it.

A survey by leading sunscreen maker Coppertone found that almost 75% of summer beach-goers violate some rule of sunbathing etiquette.  Most common gaffs are wearing Spandex trunks three sizes too small, showing up at a nude beach fully clothed, and kicking medical waste on someone smaller than you are.

It's time once again for the annual running of the bulls in Pomplona, Spain.  Some people claim that bullfighting is cruel.  They don't realize that those bulls would be slaughtered anyway and supply enough beef to keep the entire McDonald's Corporation in business for a year.

FRI, SAT, SUN, July 8, 9, 10, 2011

There's evidence that al Quaida may begin to equip suicide bombers with surgically implanted explosives.  The bad news is airport screeners will now perform a full body scan, chest x-ray and colonoscopy.  The good news is you're getting a state-of-the-art physical free.

California's ban on the use of cancer-causing tanning beds by minors may be the strictest in the nation.  It prohibits the use of any device that emits ultraviolet, gamma, or x-rays as well as the glow that surrounds young starlets commanding more than $4 million per picture.

Meteorologists recently discovered that planes landing and taking off can alter the weather by puncturing rain clouds -- a phenomenon that Air traffic controllers discovered years ago.  You ever meet a traffic controller who ever paid to have his car washed?

Religion police in the Gaza Strip will soon enforce a ban on male hairdressers on the grounds that men handling womens' hair violates Islamic tradition.  Good luck to the Muslim women.  Only a man has the strength to deliver a decent $85 shampoo, tint and set under those beekeeper's helmets they wear.

Visitors to the Windy City can now take a bus tour of famous gangster sites like Al Capone's vault, the garage where the St. Valentine's Day Massacre took place and several notorious speakeasies.  The tours are doing well, but the most popular tourist attraction in Chicago is still the spot where Frank Sinatra saw a man dance with his wife.

THURSDAY, July 7, 2011

An anthropologist in London discovered a marijuana pipe buried in Shakespeare's garden.  Nearby he found a crumpled parchment with phrases apparently written by The Bard while under the influence -- lines like "Hark, what rainbow-colored, groovy light through yonder window breaks?"  and "To be or not to be stoned, that is the totally awesome question."

The 2011 Tour de France got off to a wild and dramatic start in the Vendee region of France as a multiple bike spill marred the first lap.  There was a 3-hour delay while French police administered roadside tests for performance-enhancing drugs.

The NIH has released the results of a study that shows 20% of Americans are mentally ill.  And 87% of those have appeared on the Jerry Springer Show, Judge Judy, the Jaywalking segment on the Tonight Show or served on the Casey Anthony jury.

Thanks to an unusually long drought and super-dry conditions, Phoenix, AZ experienced a two-mile high dust cloud that canceled scheduled flights.  It got so bad, the usual immigration rules were waived and anyone could cross the border if they had a Weed-Eater, a leaf blower or a feather duster.

In the Burrough of the Bronx, New York, someone made off with a grand piano that had been included in a display celebrating the arts.  Next day, three gang members from Queens were arrested for possession of thirty AK-47s and a loaded Steinway.

WEDNESDAY, July 6, 2011

Computer hackers somehow entered the Fox News Twitter account.  The U.S. Secret Service is investigating the leading suspects, a group that calls themselves "The Script Kiddies."  Evidence of the break-in began to emerge when readers noticed that political items that Fox claims are "Fair and Balanced," actually were fair and balanced.


Former IMF chief Dominique Strauss Kahn, now faces allegations by Paris magazine writer Tristane Banon that he sexually assaulted her during an 
interview.  Surete investigators were shocked at some of their discoveries in Strauss Kahn's family history.  For instance, did Arnold Schwarzenegger ever mention that he had an older brother?  


A recent survey indicates that fast food meccas like McDonald's and Wendy's get low marks on taste tests.  Another survey showed that people who agree to participate in surveys that require sampling fast food got low marks in high school. 


Burger King is considering a plan to offer beer and wine after 4 pm.  Hope it works out better than the plan McDonald's tried in the 1960s to go completely Scottish and offer the "Big Mac, Fries, Scotch & Soda Combo."


As if their nuclear program wasn't worrisome enough, Iran now plans to send a Capuchin monkey into space next month.  They preferred to use a different experimental animal, but Mahmoud Ahmadinejad had too may speeches scheduled for August.

TUESDAY, July 5, 2011

Malaysian Airlines says it will no longer allow First Class passengers to bring their babies along. But Coach on that airline is no place for kids -- see, it's not just over the wing, it's on it.


George Ballas, the inventor of the Weed-Eater, died at age 84.  In his honor, Mexican and Japanese gardeners across the entire Los Angeles basin, switched off their leaf blowers for one minute of silence. 


According to Dr. Karen Halliogan, director of veterinary services for the SPCA, coughing up hair balls and shredding couches are normal behavior for a cat in good health and owners should not be concerned.  However, if your cat coughs up a couch.... 


A carpenter in the Netherlands built an exact replica of Noah's Ark.  Turned out he ended up with the same problem Noah reportedly had -- not enough life boats.  But he solved the shortage just like Noah did -- he invited enough giant sea turtles to make up the difference.


A spokesman for the Catholic Church, commenting on "Jerry Springer:  the Opera" soon to open in Los Angeles, condemned its "profanity, nudity and blasphemous content" and it's depiction of Jesus as "the hypocrite son of the fascist tyrant on high."  His did, however, praise the play's lighting and its sound. 

FOURTH OF JULY ISSUE! (Cue fireworks)

In Ottawa, Canada, Prince William and his new wife the Duchess of Cambridge hosted their first official tree-planting ceremony as they planted a Canadian hemlock on the grounds of Government House.  But old scores are still being settled.  An Irish setter rushed from the crowd and urinated on it.


The L.A. Unified School District's Teachers union has lodged a formal complaint against the new Cameron Diaz Movie "Bad Teacher."  They feel that any school teacher who looks like that is just too much of a temptation -- not for her students, for the mayor when he shows up to pass out the state scholarships.


Critics are slashing the new Tom Hanks-Julia Roberts movie "Larry Crowne" with machetes.  And not without cause.  There's just very little between them that you could call chemistry.  In fact, Tom had a more torrid love affair with Wilson, his soccer ball in "Castaway."


Fans of the original "The Hangover" are appalled at the similarity of the so-called sequel to the original.  Not only has the almost identical plot just been given a different location, keen-eyed moviegoers noticed that both pictures use the same fake plastic vomit.


Crustaseanologists in Puerto Rico have discovered a previously unknown species of crab that has a 16-inch wide shell.  The one specimen they caught has already been hired to join the cast of "Spongebob Squarepants."