FRI, SAT, November 30, December1, 2012

SUGAR DADDY -- Sheldon Adelson, the largest individual donor in the presidential campaign with GOP pledges worth $54 million, will collect $1.2 billion in dividends as a stockholder in the Las Vegas Sands Hotel.  Mitt Romney may have become too accustomed to the steady cash flow.  Yesterday, Adelson got a Christmas card from him that said "Happy Holidays -- Second Notice."

BURNING BUSH -- Nineteen-year-old Angus T Jones, who has co-starred on "Two and a Half Men" for the past ten seasons threatened to quit because he says it's "full of filth."  Actually, that's the same reason Charlie Sheen left the show, but he was so embarrassed to admit it, he faked all those bimbo meltdowns.

BEAM ME UP -- According to top-secret documents recently declassified, the Pentagon once considered setting off a nuclear blast on the moon to impress the Russians who had just launched Sputnik.  Luckily, they were talked out of it by astronomer Carl Sagen and Andy Williams who thought it would adversely effect sales of his new album.

CHECK, PLEASE! -- Delivering on a promise he made prior to the presidential election, Barack Obama hosted his defeated opponent Mitt Romney for lunch in the family quarters of the White House.  Details are sketchy as to what they discussed, since there were no other guests -- just the President, Mitt, and his food taster.

WHITE ON RICE -- Political pundits theorize that Republicans are blocking the nomination of Susan Rice as Secretary of State to insure that  John Kerry gets the nod so Scott Brown can take his vacated Senate seat.  The GOP hasn't been this down on rice since they were forced to attend a Congressional luncheon for the Chinese ambassador.

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.