;

WEDNESDAY, July 11, 2012



THANKS, BUT NO THANKS -- The family of the late Thomas Kinkade, whose ketchy paintings of Christmas cottages, tranquil lakes and mountain vistas replaced Elvis  on velvet as America’s low-brow art of choice, are engaged in a bitter fight over his $66 million  estate.  They’ve all agreed to split the money, but the problem is half of his relatives don’t want his unsold paintings and the other half  doesn’t want them, either.


STATUE WARY -- According to a survey commissioned by Washington Monthly Magazine, the most popular tourist attraction among foreign visitors in Washington, D.C. is the Lincoln Memorial followed closely by the Washington Monument and the U.S. Capitol.  Bottom-feeders include the Tidal Basin where Fanny Fox took a dip, Monica Lewinsky’s dry cleaners  and the Smithsonian’s Air, Sea  and Kevin Spacey Museum.     


C.O.D. -- In North Korea’s capital of Pyongyang, government officials celebrated the one hundreth birthday of the country’s founder, Kim Il-sung with a variety show featuring Disney characters Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Winnie-the-Pooh and Tigger.  No surprise here.  According to recent CIA surveillance photos, Disney characters are painted on the warheads of the nuclear missiles pointed toward Washington, D.C.



ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR LOUIS -- Scotland Yard has confirmed that forensic chemists in Zurich have determined that Yasser Arafat’s death in 2004 was most likely due to polonium poisoning.  Ironic since it wasn’t the Yard’s case, Arafat died in Paris,no tests were conducted at the time and death by natural causes was assumed.  The assassination came to light only after a joint investigation was launched last year by Miss Marple and Inspector Morse.



SPEEDY ALKA-SELTZER -- Kourtney Kardashian took the usual amount of time giving birth to a baby girl last week after a normal pregnancy.  Now if Kim was to have a kid, it would have been conceived three months ago, completed grade school, high school and college in six weeks and would now have a job on The View.  



HEEEERE'S JOHNNY! -- While he appeared as a guest on Hope specials infrequently, Johnny Carson and "The Tonight Show" were integral to Hope's promotion strategy.  On the Friday preceding a special's air date, Hope would join Johnny (or the guest host) to hawk the upcoming extravaganza, noting the slate of guest stars as well as the show's content.  After several decades of this, Johnny had understandably become a tad resentful of Hope's use of his show as a billboard.  We always knew what the topics of the interview were since we wrote "ad-libs" to cover them, but Johnny would steer Hope into other areas, much to the latter's  discomfort.  When Johnny did appear on our show, usually in short cameos, he was always terrific. 


Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

There was an error in this gadget

Click here to add theme music to your reading experience...

The Laugh Makers on YouTube

Loading...

THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

http://www.leonardmaltin.com/2009YearEndBookSurvey.htm

Even Animals Love "THE YouTube WORLDWIDE NEWS"!

THE LAUGH MAKERS is now on KINDLE! (And Kindle equipped devices)

Download THE LAUGH MAKERS to your Kindle within one minute (for $2.99) by clicking on this link:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0041D9EPO

And if you're not yet a Kindle owner, when you purchase your new lower-priced Kindle with a capacity of 3500 books, be sure to sign up for our daily blog so you won't miss one issue of the web's most entertaining and insightful comments on the day's events... or a single serialized installment of THE LAUGH MAKERS. Order your Kindle today!


WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004IZLXIQ