THURSDAY, July 26, 2012

SCRAP STATUE -- Shocking some Penn State students who were hoping for a slap on the wrist, the NCAA came down hard on Penn's Athletic department assessing $73 million in fines, a four-year ban on bowl games, and stripping Paterno of credit for any wins after 1997.  And if that weren't enough, they ruled that Pete Rose should never be allowed to coach Penn State baseball.


THAT'S THE WAY IT IS -- Faced with declining viewership numbers and spiraling costs, CBS has admitted that they recently gave serious consideration to combining their news operation with CNN's, but abandoned the proposal after terms couldn't be reached.  Seems that Anderson Cooper and Leslie Stahl just couldn't agree on who would get the larger dressing room.


WELL SEASONED -- Revealed in a recent survey of happily married women who were asked if they would ever consider cheating on their spouses, a majority said "yes," but only with one man:  David Beckham.  In a similar poll of married men, most said "yes," if the woman was Posh Spice... or any of the other Spices... or, for that matter, any woman named after a condiment.


HERE I DON'T COME -- Once known as "The Golden State," California is now producing a mother lode of cities declaring bankruptcy, including San Bernardino, Stockton, and Mammoth Lakes.  Population growth has leveled off, too, with more people fleeing the state than arriving.  And upscale areas are not immune.   At Laguna Beach, surfers have been spotted trying to catch OUTWARD waves.


DECISIONS, DECISIONS -- Realizing that there's still time to right a major wrong, his short-sited decision to drop out of a Boston high school after only one year, actor Mark Wahlberg has re-enrolled.  When asked by reporters his plans for the future after he receives his diploma, he confessed that he's torn between Harvard or a good trade school.

L to R:  Gene Perret, Si Jacobs, the author, Barney McNulty, Bob Hope, Hal Kanter
FINAL BOW -- In the summer of 1998, Hope attended a party celebrating Barney McNulty’s seventy-fifth birthday at a church hall in North Hollywood.  Scores of Barney’s friends and colleagues stopped by, including Angela Lansbury, with whom he had worked on Murder, She Wrote. Hundreds of photos that he had taken over the years were tacked on bulletin boards.  The event would turn out to be the last time most of us would see Hope. He now had assistance twenty-four-seven and looked all of his ninety-five years. After about an hour and a half, he was helped into a van and waved feebly out the window as it drove off. Barney ran alongside.  “Thanks for coming, boss!”

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.