A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
FRI, SAT, July 6, 7, 2012
SPOKES FLY -- In San-Quentin, France, German cyclist Andre Greipel
has won the accident-plagued fifth stage of the Tour de France with
Switzerland’s Fabian Cancellara retaining the overall leader’s yellow
jersey. Somehow, it’s always been difficult
for Americans to sense the excitement of a bunch of men riding bikes. Maybe it would be easier if they thought of
it as NASCAR with escargot and Napoleon Brandy instead of Nachos, hot wings and
a cold brewski.
BOND… JAMES BOND -- An exhibit honoring the designers of
the James Bond .007 films has opened in London.
Displaying many of Bond’s weapons designed especially for the franchise,
the show will begin a world tour to major cities in August. Already, the effects of the worldwide
gasoline shortage will be seen in the next Bond film. The surface-to-surface rocket launchers in
Bond’s roadster have been replaced by siphoning tubes that insert themselves
into the tanks of passing cars.
DECLAWED -- With an unimpressive 71 in the opening round of
the Greenbriar Classic, Tiger Woods found himself eight strokes behind leader
Vijay Singh and faced with a long climb back into the hunt. Tiger got good news and bad news last
week. With his win at the AT&T, he
surpassed Jack Nicholas’s career total PGA wins record. The bad news is he still trails hoop icon Wilt
Chamberlain by 378,941 for the lifetime
bimbos bedded record.
THE DOCTOR IS OUT -- The FDA has vowed to crack down on
medical apps that they haven’t formally approved among the 40,000 now in
use. Among those okeyed so far, the Pregnancy ++ app
that tracks progress toward birth, and the Pill Identifier app that recognizes
10,000 medications through size, color and shape. Among the no-go’s: the Joan Rivers “Hack-A-Schnozz” Rhynoplasty
app and the “Rear Ender” home colonoscopy app.
FIVE… FOUR… THREE – Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner
has made a bid to purchase Dick Clark Productions from the estate of the late
rock ‘n’ roll legend.When you think about it, the two men had a lot in
common. Between Miss January and the
Times Square ball, both of them figured out an interesting way to welcome the
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"WINGS" --The cast of a 1983 sketch called "Get the Red Baron.." Pat Boone, Lee Marvin, Bob Hope, Ann Jillian and George Burns take their well-earned bows. Note the
authenticity and realism of the movie-quality set. This set was as authentic as the first Oscar-winner "Wings" which it parodied. Ann Jillian was a frequent guest in the 70s and 80s. She had
been a child star and, as an adult, saw her hit single “Wind Beneath My Wings”
make the top of the charts. She married her bodyguard, a former policeman.
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DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY
DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)
BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?
"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."
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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99
Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.