SHOULD YOU CHOOSE -- Fourteen Olympics swimming medal
winner Michael Phelps is poised to win seven gold medals in London, rivaling his Beijing performance but for Ryan Lochte who has declared this Olympics “my
time.” It’s not like Michael’s mission
is impossible, but there are signs.
Every morning there’s a self-destroying tape recorder in his locker with a message that begins, “Good morning, Mr. Phelps… “
LICENSE
TO FORGE -- Officials at the FBI and the U.S. Secret Service are scrambling to
figure out a way to thwart Chinese forgers who are producing counterfeit
drivers licenses that have routinely fooled TSA airport screeners, Customs
officers and state troopers. These guys
even fooled State Farm who, based on Lindsay Lohan's phony knockoff, gave her a
safe driver discount.
AS TIME GOES BY -- Technicians at the International Earth Rotation and
Reference System Service added one second to the world's clocks on Saturday
night. The "leap second" was needed to adjust atomic clocks to
the slight delay in the earth's rotation. While most people hardly
noticed the addition of an extra second, Kim Kardashian took the opportunity to
get married and divorced again.
MORNING AFTER -- Charlie Sheen, who has been getting generally favorable
reviews for his new sitcom “Anger Management,” told reporters that he realizes
now that he completely flipped out last summer.
In fact, he’s so ashamed and contrite for his behavior, he even got
himself confused with Robert Downey, Jr. and apologized for taking a nap in that
neighbor kid’s bed.
ESCALADE ESCAPADE -- Last week, rapper 50 Cent was rushed to a hospital for injuries he sustained in a collision with a Mac truck on New York’s Long Island Expressway. His SUV’s bullet-proofing proved a match for the truck and may have saved his life. He’s fully recovered and is on the road touring again. But under a new name. While he was convalescing, inflation took its toll and he’s now known as “39 Cent.”
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved
LICENSE
TO FORGE -- Officials at the FBI and the U.S. Secret Service are scrambling to
figure out a way to thwart Chinese forgers who are producing counterfeit
drivers licenses that have routinely fooled TSA airport screeners, Customs
officers and state troopers. These guys
even fooled State Farm who, based on Lindsay Lohan's phony knockoff, gave her a
safe driver discount. 
ESCALADE ESCAPADE -- Last week, rapper 50 Cent was rushed to a hospital for injuries he sustained in a collision with a Mac truck on New York’s Long Island Expressway. His SUV’s bullet-proofing proved a match for the truck and may have saved his life. He’s fully recovered and is on the road touring again. But under a new name. While he was convalescing, inflation took its toll and he’s now known as “39 Cent.”
DOWN UNDER -- Here’s writer/producer Chris Bearde with Barbara Eden
in February 1978, minutes after we touched down in Perth, Australia. Chris had
flown to Perth a week before to set up our production facilities and coordinate
with our Aussie tech crew. As Writers Guild members, Gig and I had to apply for
a waiver from the Australian Writers Guild. Whenever we worked in a foreign
country, we complied with local guild rules — except, of course, in
China. Hope would emcee the inauguration of the Perth Entertainment
Centre. (David Letterman was a credited writer on this special.)
http://funnymanchuck.biz/letshavefunclub/
Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved
