FRI, SAT, July 27, 28, 2012

SUPREME GROOM -- North Korean President Kim Jong-un broke with the precedent of secrecy concerning the private sex-lives of the country's Supreme Leaders by announcing the name and status of his 20-something new wife, Ri Sol-ju, a singer and TV personality.   North Koreans were later reminded that Kim and his bride are registered at the nation's most popular on-line retailer, Bed, Bath & Beyond the 38th Parallel.

MITTMANIA -- Mitt Romney, stopping off in London on the first lap on his international tour, caught flack from Olympic officials as well as PM David Cameron after he expressed doubts that the Brits would carry off the games without a hitch.  No doubt compounding his gaffe was his unwillingness to explain why he had one of Queen Elizabeth's beloved corgis strapped to the roof of his rental car.


FOSSIL REPORT -- Currently enjoying a surge in the advertiser-coveted 18 to 49 age group, late night hosts Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have re-upped with their employer Viacom for two more years.  Former LN top dogs Leno and Letterman have literally been left in the dust.   So far have they toppled, last week a woman was arrested for trying to sneak OUT of Letterman's house.


DIGITALIS -- Hospital emergency rooms nationwide were swamped by hordes of Twitterites seeking treatment after Twitter went down for over two hours citing technical problems.  The patients were suffering from what doctors call "Twitdrawal," whose symptoms include tapping one's index finger uncontrollably on the nearest firm surface.  Thankfully, each limited their wailing to 140 groans or less.

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT -- Say what you will about Charlie Sheen's meltdown that cost him his "Two and a Half Men" gig, but the clean and sober version has donated $1 million to the USO to build an entertainment facility near Baltimore.  And not just the building.  Veterans who qualify for admission are assigned two bimbo "goddesses" paid for by Charlie.

NOW BOOKING ENGAGEMENTS FOR THE FALL!  This show is the perfect addition to your next seminar, workshop or convention.  Stories and video clips that will wow your audience like only show business nostalgia can -- and with rates that fit your budget.  For details and a complete rundown (including clips used) and list of topics from baseball to the military to the NFL from which you choose, write to:  TheLaughMakers@GMail.com  

Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.