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THURSDAY, January 12, 2012

Facing massive losses due to rising fuel prices, Delta Air Lines has reluctantly raised the price of their tickets across-the-board.  And they've instituted drastic cutbacks to save money.  Now in the event of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, an oxygen mask drops down between the seats with a sign on it that says "Share this."

Beyonce and husband Jay-Z are now the proud parents of a new girl baby they've named "Ive Blue."  And I know what you're thinking.  Like every other joke writer throughout the land, I somehow resisted the urge to report that she gave birth to a "beyonce baby girl."

A bank robber holding up a London Bank got rattled and inadvertently handed the teller his .38 snub-nose automatic instead of the demand note he had written.  Then things got even more confusing.  The uniformed guard nearby thought the teller was delivering a premium for opening a new account and gave the robber tips on where to buy cut-rate ammo. 

Mattel has announced that they'll soon offer a matched set of Kardashian Sister dolls.  Advance word is that they're so lifelike, the Kim doll comes with six Chinese children dolls that make her clothes in a sweatshop doll house.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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