MONDAY, January 16, 2012

Donald Trump has applied to New York building authorities for permits necessary to build an 18-hole golf course in the heart of the city.  New York City golf is a little different from the game invented in Scotland -- the hazards include sand traps, out-of-bounds, casual water and muggers.

Producers of a biographical film on the life of Elizabeth Taylor are rumored to be seriously considering Lindsay Lohan to play the lead.  Nothing confirmed yet, but they’ve already hired a jeweler to design a diamond-studded ankle alarm bracelet that will look like a gift from Richard Burton.

Nike’s hot new basketball shoe the “Air Jordan” is so popular, lucky wearers who found a pair have been mugged for them.  Not quite as popular but big on the west coast are Nike’s new “Air Kobes” that wearers report give them an uncontrollable desire to abandon their loyalty to Nike in favor of Converse shoes.

International scholars are all agog over the upcoming meeting between lifelong friends Venuzuela’s Hugo Chavez and Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.  If their rumored intentions are realized, the United Nations will soon receive a request for membership from “Veranuzuela.”

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.