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MONDAY, October 10, 2011

An internal government audit disclosed that the Office of Personnel Management has paid $600 million to deceased federal retirees since 2011.  The Federal Retirement Board says they got the idea from the private sector.  They claim to have credible evidence that CNN continued to pay Larry King after his untimely death in 1998. 

According to friends who've read the first draft of Arnold Schwarzenegger's memoirs to be published next year, he confesses to having had even more children with his household help.  In fact, he wanted Simon & Schuster to call the book "The Help," but they told him it was already taken.

Joining the Slinky and Mr. Potato Head, the makers of Rubic's Cube have applied for entry into the Toy Hall of Fame.  May be rough going though.  Longtime members Barbie, GI Joe, Chatty Cathy and the Cabbage Patch Kids are picketing to block the nomination.        

After years of attending conventions and signing autographs from coast-to-coast, Star trekker Leonard Nemoy has sworn off meeting the fans.  Friends say he was devastated to learn that "nemoy" in Klingon means "illigitimate son of Bill Shatner and Lt. Uhura."

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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