FRI, SAT, SUN, October 28, 29, 30, 2011

For the second consecutive year, Michael Jackson topped the Forbes list of dead-celebrity wage earners at $170 million.  A new sub-category of celebrities whose careers are dead but who still make money included Lindsay Lohan, Andy Dick and Michael Richards.

Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow supports a pledge of pre-marital abstinence for unmarried young adults.  He's really religious.  His snap calls usually sound something like "Matthew 13:24...  Corinthians 22:12...  Leviticus 19:33... hike!" 

At the direction of Congress, the U.S. State Department will issue a visa to any immigrant who agrees to buy a home here worth at least $500,000.  Already, they're facing their first dilemma -- do they let Roman Polanski back in or not? 

To teach Lindsay Lohan that her parole violations just won't be tolerated, a judge ordered her to perform public service at the L.A. Morgue.  More effective, really, would be a stint in the cold storage locker where the William Morris Agency stores the remains of dead movie careers.

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.