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WEDNESDAY, October 12, 2011

According to the Retailers Association, this year's most popular Halloween costumes are Snookie and a zombie.  One store is cashing in on the trend -- combining both into a getup they call the "Snombie" with plastic fangs that not only suck your blood but also test it for STDs.

During an interview on 60 Minutes, New York police Commissioner Ray Kelly  disclosed that his department now has the capability of bringing down an airliner by ground-to-air missile.  You have to admit that New York's Boys in Blue have come a long way since "Car 54, Where Are You?"

All major airlines will reduce their number of flights next year.  Which means fewer flight attendants, fewer ticket agents and reservations clerks on duty.  It also means fewer pilot pre-flight pick-me-ups at the airport cocktail lounge.  The National Association of Distillers has already appealed to the F.A.A.

With decades of experience designing sympathy and get-well cards, Hallmark has expanded their line into cards for those who have recently lost jobs.  Most are received by the newly-unemployed with appreciation -- with the possible exception of the pink ones.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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