Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Against the advice of other non-professionals who have tried it, Cincinnati Bengal’s standout Chad Ochocinco threw caution to the wind and tried to ride a fighting bull at a rodeo.  How did it go?  Well, his teammates now call him “Ocho-Limpo.”

After seeking the advice of her clergyman and close family members, Maria Shriver Shwarzenegger has found it in her heart to forgive her former maid for the 10-year affair with her husband.  She has not, however, forgiven her 10-year refusal to do windows.

iPhone now offers an app that alerts subscribers to the presence of DUI checkpoints Called “Fuzz Alert.“  Not to be confused with Blackberry’s “Fuzz Alert” app which beeps whenever the user gets within 50 feet of a Winchells Donut Shop.

NBC will add some much-need glamour to their weight-loss reality series “The Biggest Loser” with the addition of tennis star Anna Kournikova as a contestant.  Anna realized she was having weight issues when she began using a footstool to jump over the net.

The New York Public Library will honor George Washington’s birthday by brewing a batch of beer using his personal recipe.  Library workers who’ve already sampled it report that it tastes like a cross between cherry tree sap and Delaware river water.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.