;

TUESDAY, May 10, 2011

NATO forces successfully bombed Moammar Gadhafi’s Tripoli compound, but failed to take out the beleaguered dictator.  Turns out he’s been buying bullet-proof medals from an unethical U.S. defense contractor.

The latest financial reports indicate that the L.A. Dodger organization is so strapped for cash, players may not be paid for the month of May.  Which explains the leaked inter-office memo advising the players to keep all the bases they steal.

Barack Obama told Steve Kroft on “60-Minutes” that the wait for a report from the Navy Seals assaulting bin Laden’s compound “was the longest forty minutes of my life.”  And not just the suspense of war -- he never goes that long without a smoke break.

Sentenced to community service for her latest conviction, Lindsay Lohan has been assigned to give acting lessons to homeless little theater members.  First lesson covers how to convince clerks at Ralph’s that the bulge in your sweatpants isn’t a frozen dinner.

The Green Bay Packers have announced that the team has chosen Josten’s Jewelers to design and manufacture their Super Bowl rings.  Josten’s has managed to become a leading jewelry dealer with just two customers -- the Packers and Kobe Bryant.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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