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MONDAY, May 9, 2011

Mel Gibson’s new movie “The Beaver” is being panned by critics.  In it, Mel uses a hand puppet to channel his problems.  The beaver is the first anti-Semitic hand puppet since Shari Lewis’s Lamb Chop admitted she wasn’t kosher.

“Judge Judy” Sheindlin, longtime queen of the video bench, has re-signed with CBS to dispense TV justice through 2015.  She had only one competitor who qualified for the job, but dodged the bullet by committing Paula Abdul to a mental institution.

Attempting to reverse plummeting sales, struggling Wal-Mart will once again offer handguns for sale.  More difficult to qualify now, though.  Along with the government-required background check, you have to win a quick-draw contest with the store’s elderly greeter. 

Police in Cincinnati recently had to use a taser gun on a nude man who was running around threatening people.  They charged him with indecent exposure, creating a public nuisance and assault with a dead weapon.  

Shooting “Jersey Shore” in Italy has presented problems the producers didn’t anticipate.  And then some.   Snooki apparently doesn’t translate well.  The Italians working on the set have nicknamed her “Il Duce.”
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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