TUESDAY, May 24, 2011

Followers of evangelical broadcaster Harold Camping who believed that Jesus would return to earth on May 21 and accompany “believers” to heaven were disappointed when the predicted “earthquake” did not occur.  Camping now defends his prediction, claiming that Jesus took over Charlie Sheen’s body and will escort us to heaven during his upcoming “Hop Aboard the Salvation Express” tour.

Tom Brady, New England Patriots quarterback and husband of model Giselle Bundchen, has been named the NFL’s top salary-earner at $18 million.  He may need every penny of it.  The Rhode Island Attorney General is investigating allegations that he’s deeply involved in “super-model fighting.”

Ricki Lake is reportedly writing her memoirs scheduled for publication early next year. She’s considering several titles, but the front-runner appears to be “My Life: From Hairspray to Scarsdale to Jenny Craig to Weight-Watchers to Atkins to… ”   

After a long search to replace Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men” that included an audition of Hugh Grant, CBS has signed Ashton Kutcher to take over the role.  Accordingly, the network is considering a name change to “Two Men and a Boy-Toy.”

For the first time in the history of the German Republic, 16-year olds in the city of Bremen have been given the right to vote.  The one time that was tried in the U.S., an "American Idol" winner was elected mayor of Pookeepsie.

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.