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THURSDAY, May 5, 2011

In an upcoming biopic, Lindsay Lohan will play the daughter of mobster “Teflon Don” John Gotti.  To prepare her for the role, producers asked nurses at the Betty Ford to convince her she was in the Witness Protection Program.

A 90-year old woman in San Diego, California is selling mail-order suicide kits for $60.  When her age was revealed, most people were shocked.  Who would have guessed there was a Mrs. Kevorkian?

Beating out Ford and a Turkish auto company, Nissan has been awarded a billion dollar ten-year contract to provide taxicabs for the City of New York.  Design features include a sight-seeing sunroof, an I-Pad plug-in and a more private “snuggle seat” for hookers and their clients.  

A Los Angeles motorist escaped injury when he plowed his car through a Del Taco restaurant, ending up in the kitchen.  Police credited his driver’s side air bag and three bean and onion burritos.

The citizens of Antoona, Pennsylvania were paid $25,000 to temporarily change the name of the city to help promote Morgan Spurlock’s new movie.  They’re getting spoiled.  They already collected $50,000 for naming the city Altoona.
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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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