British film actor Hugh Grant is negotiating with Warner Bros. to replace Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men.” Not at Sheen’s salary, of course, since Hugh has fewer expenses -- street hookers being considerably cheaper than “goddesses.”
Despite the recent STD outbreak among porn actors, the City of Los Angeles has announced that it will shutter the Health Department’s Communicable Disease Clinic. Or, as the Kardashians refer to it, “Medicare.”
According to world census figures maintained by the UN, by the end of this year there will be seven billion people populating the earth -- 68% of whom will have appeared as contestants on “American Idol.”
Canadian health officials have detected bedbugs in a rundown Vancouver hospital carrying a drug-resistant staphylococcus. There is one slim ray of hope, though. So far, the only thing that has completely eradicated the bug is hospital food.
Amid the cheers of thousands of pilgrims in Vatican Square, Pope John Paul II was beatified. Now all he needs for full sainthood is one more miracle. Apparently, the present pope’s belated apology for the priest-pedophile scandal isn’t enough.
A Longtime Bob Hope Joke Writer Presents Daily Insightful Topical Satire Of Current Events (Illustrated) Plus Rare Photos From Hollywood's Bygone Era And Excerpts From THE LAUGH MAKERS By Robert L. Mills -- Color Photos From the Book and Rare Classic Vintage Video Clips! Send Your Show Biz Questions to "ASK BOB" at: TheLaughMakers@GMail.com
THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!
