;

FRI, SAT, SUN, April 22, 23, 24, 2011

Shirley MacClaine is on a multi-city tour to promote her new book “I’m Over All That & Other Confessions,” one of which is that she once slept with three politicians in a single  day.  Impressive from a Wilt Chamberlain perspective, but nothing compared to her claim that she once slept with politicians from three separate centuries. 

The Robert Redford-directed “The Conspirators,” now in theaters nationwide, is all about the assassination of Abraham Lincoln and Mr. Redford’s fingerprints are all over it.  Just one example -- two of Mr. Lincoln’s Secret Service agents are code-named “Butch” and “Sundance.”

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security has scrapped the oft-ridiculed color-coded terrorist threat levels in favor of a two-warning system that will declare threats “Elevated” or “Imminent.”  The threats themselves will be limited to suicide bombings, poison gas attacks, assassinations and any multi-city tours hosted by Charlie Sheen.

Amid the hustle and bustle of royal wedding preparations, Queen Elizabeth II celebrated her 85th birthday at a Buckingham Palace party where guests enjoyed several rounds of “Pin-the-tail-on-Moammar-Kadafi” before launching into a rousing chorus of “For She’s a Jolly Good Monarch” led by Queen Latifa and Elton John.

In Houston, a six-year-old shot himself in the foot and injured several day-care center classmates.  Police discovered he had purchased the 9mm Glock automatic during an Easter Break Sale at “Gats-R-Us, “ without the usual background check which was waived due to the purchaser’s inability to write.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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