WEDNESDAY, April 6, 2011

Texas legislators are seriously considering passing a bill that will allow concealed firearms on college campuses.  Could change things down there. Now the co-eds at the University of Texas will be referred to as “hot” whenever they’re packing heat.

Facing national-debt-sized alimony payments, Tiger Woods has placed his yacht on the Market for $25 million.  Available options include a sonar depth-finder, a poop deck putting green, and several hookers lashed to the yardarm.

Archeologists in London have appealed to NATO forces to avoid destroying ancient and irreplaceable antiquities.  And the Marine Corps has requested that the shores of Tripoli be left undamaged so they won’t have to change their song.

NASA scientists announced that they have not heard from the Mars rover “Spirit” since March 2010.  Not entirely accurate.  Actually, it’s the rover’s agent who hasn’t returned their calls.

MasterCard has announced that it will soon issue cards with built-in computer screens.  Pretty risky for them.  Now you’ll be able to identify the jerk who’s charging you 20% interest.

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.