TUESDAY, April 12, 2011

Struggling to win another major tournament to restore his tarnished icon status, Tiger Woods could manage only a fifth place finish in the Masters won by South African Charl Schwartzel.  He hasn't been clobbered that badly by a complete unknown since that guy who designed the nine iron Elin used.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has teamed up with Marvel Comics founder Stan Lee to create a new comic book hero called "The Governator."  In the first issue, Arnold has to use all of his superhuman powers to extricated himself from a dangerous syndicate out to destroy him -- not the Mafia -- the Kennedys.

A dog-lover in London recently paid a record $40,000 on a wedding for her toy poodle who fell in love with a beagle she’d met at obedience school.  Outside the church, the guests tossed Kibbles ‘n’ Bits and then attended a lavish reception featuring a six-tiered wedding cake topped with statues of two fire hydrants.

Archeologists discovered skeletal remains which appear to have belonged to the oldest gay man ever found.  Most compelling evidence was unearthed nearby -- an impressive collection of Broadway show tunes including “Annie get Your Cross-Bow,” “Okla-Homer,” and “The Maddusic Man.”

The long-awaited remake of the 1940s pot-boiler “Mildred Pierce” starring Kate Winslett in the role made famous by Joan Crawford aired on HBO last weekend.  Kate denies that she tried to out-act Joan but admitted to reporters at the red-carpet premier party that she did prepare for the role by beating her kid with a bent coat hanger.
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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.