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THURSDAY, April 7, 2011

A dot com billionaire from the former Soviet Union paid a record price -- $100 million -- for a home in Los Altos Hills, CA., or, as such digs are commonly referred to by the Russian mafia -- a “fixer-upper.”

The Sierras recorded a record 60-feet of snow this year with upscale homes around Lake Tahoe completely buried.  It got so cold at the Cal-Neva Lodge last week, conventioneers were paying hookers extra just to blow on their fingers.

CBS news thrush Katie Couric has announced that she’ll be exiting the nightly anchor chair when her current contract expires.  There’s a valuable lesson to be learned here.  Once you make Sarah Palin look stupid on national television, your career is over -- it may take awhile, but it’s toast.

PBS has signed famed documentarian Ken Burns to produce a ten-part series on the Vietnam War.  It won’t be quite like his docus on the “Civil War” and “Baseball.”  Jane Fonda will narrate and it will only be shown in Canada.

“Harry & David,” once the trend-setters in mail-order catalogue gift baskets, is calling it quits after watching their once soaring profits tank.  Not that there weren’t plenty of telltale signs:
1)  Customers were throwing the dried fruit away and eating the straw.
2)  FedEx drivers no longer relied on the “damaged” cartons for lunch.
3)  Lady Gaga began using the hard salami as casual wear. 
4)  Hilton Hotel managers were using the cheese tray as bait to catch bedbugs.
5)  Harry and David finally admitted that their real names are Osama and Moammar.
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BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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