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WEDNESDAY, April 13, 2011


Security at the Prince William-Kate Middleton nuptials will be the tightest since the prince Charles princess Diana wedding.  Hundreds of uniformed Bobbies will join undercover agents from MI-5 and plainclothes Beefeaters carrying concealed M-16s. And if that weren’t enough, guests outside the cathedral will be asked to toss puffed rice.

Donald Trump keeps creeping up in the polls and is now is so popular among Republican voters, Sarah Palin may become his running-mate.  He told friends he’s confident he can win -- not the office, the actual White House.  He plans to tear it down to make room for a 66- story condominium complex for Republicans to be called “Trumpatopia.”

Egyptologists believe they have discovered the remains of the earliest gay man ever found.  They reached this conclusion after noticing that the furniture in his crypt had been rearranged numerous times and the entire decor had the unmistakable earmarks of an accomplished interior decorator.

A computer software manufacturer in Great Britain is seeking employees who are willing to work naked.  No telling yet whether it will affect output but one thing’s for sure – there won’t be any floppy discs in that workplace.

A federal court has ruled that Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss cannot undo a 2008 settlement agreement they signed with Mark Zuckerberg awarding them $20 million and part ownership of Facebook.  The judge did, however, compliment them on how much they look like the actors who played them in “Social Network.”   
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DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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