WEDENESDAY, March 20, 2013

SHALOM -- Hoping to avoid GOP charges that he's just taking another vacation, President Obama flew to Israel for his first official state visit as president traveling with only essential aides --  his chief-of-staff, a press secretary, three Secret Service agents and his Yiddish coach, Jackie Mason.

VALOR FROM AFAR -- Some hardened combat veterans are not pleased with the Pentagon's new drone pilot medal that ranks above those earned in hand-to-hand combat.  Hold on there, Sarge.  These Air Force drone jockies face plenty of danger --  between shifts, they have to walk around Colorado unarmed.

WALK A MILE -- The U.S. State Department has issued warnings that Arab-Spring-torn Egypt is the most dangerous tourist destination in the Middle East.  Visitors to Cairo are warned to be vigilant against muggers and pickpockets.  Drive-by camel shootings can occur with virtually no warning -- camels have no hoofs.

TAKES A BEATING -- North Korea now claims they have developed nuclear technology that will allow them to hide a nuclear device, fully armed, in an ordinary suitcase.  And Samsonite thought they were testing their luggage when they had gorillas toss them around.

RAG WRAPS -- Once the bible of Hollywood show biz, the 108-year old daily Variety will no longer publish a print version.  Potential starlets are beside themselves -- if they can't see who's reading Variety in Cantor's and Nate 'n' Al's, how will they know who to sleep with?

(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved) 

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.