RUBBER MATCH -- "Deep Throat" star Harry Reems passed away at the age of 65. Remembrances poured in from all over the country and flags were flown at half staff at the headquarters of Planned Parenthood and Trojan Latex Products, Inc.
PLASTER OF PARIS HOLIDAY -- According to U.S. News and World Report the most popular college Spring Break site is Daytona Beach. Not to be confused with Palm Beach, the top destination for seniors who break their hip in the Spring.
STIFF UPPER TANK -- Petrol prices in the UK have topped $10 per gallon. With prices averaging $4 a gallon in the U.S., one British Peer is saving a bundle by shipping his Rolls to L.A., having the tank filled, and having it shipped back to England. While he waits for his car, he gets to his job as a barrister at the Old Bailey by skateboard.
HAND JOB -- The Florida Legislature is debating a bill that would make Daylight Savings Time permanent. Why you might ask. Seems doctors noticed a spike in hernias resulting from seniors reaching up to push the hands on their wall clocks forward.
(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved)