TUESDAY, November 27, 2012

DROPPING IN -- Britain's top code-breakers are stumped by a secret code attached to the leg bone of a pigeon found stuffed in a Surrey chimney.  Experts attached to MI-5 are at a loss the explain the World War I message from the front lines that begins "Love soft rain, long walks on the beach and cities with lots of statues. Seeking same." 

SMILE TRAIN -- In a replay of action they took last September, the National Hockey League has declared a total lockout of players and cancelled another two weeks of games and possibly the entire season.   The lockout prohibits players from entering their locker rooms except, of course, to retrieve dental bridges.

CAR 54 WHERE ARE YOU? -- A San Antonio, Texas federal judge has blocked plans by a school district to require students to wear electronic tracking tags which, "...are perfectly harmless and necessary to establish attendance records," said Principle Joseph McCarthy of the George Orwell Middle School.


CHEESEY -- The longest-running play in the history of the legitimate theater is “The Mouse Trap,” the Agatha Christie mystery which has been running continuously since it first took to the boards at London’s West End in 1952.  It alone has accounted for 27,643 performances, 2,347 different actors in leading roles and half a million dead mice.

NO CIGAR -- Actor Peter O’Toole has been nominated for an Academy Award eight times but has yet to win one.  He was up for an Oscar in “Lawrence of Arabia,” “Beckett,” “The Lion in Winter,” “Goodbye, Mr. Chips,” “The Ruling Class,” “The Stunt Man,” “My Favorite Year, and “Venus.”  He’s hoping to cop yet a ninth nomination for his leading role in this year’s “And the Winner Isn’t…”

 Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.