WEDNESDAY, November 28, 2012

DRUDGE ON THE MAT -- A New study conducted by social scientists in Norway reveals that husbands who share housework with their wives are twice as likely to get divorced than husbands who never do household chores.  As near as the researchers can figure, men who help with the dishes often forget to replace their wedding ring, making them twice as susceptible to extra-marital affairs.

MON DIEU -- Conservationists in Western France fought police as they protested the construction of a new airport they claim will destroy valuable woodlands and increase air pollution in the area.  Riot police disbursed the rowdy crowd with high-pressure water cannon which, in keeping with France’s traditional love of all things revolutionary, squirt Perrier. 

TARGET PRACTICE -- Once limited to extra equipment like a compass and a canteen full of lukewarm water, sport hunters are taking advantage of telephone apps that provide GPS coverage, times of sunrise and sunset, location of public hunting lands and current regulations.  The new Disney "Let's Bag Bambi" app alerts the hunter of the best time of day to ambush a deer herd at their favorite watering hole.

HO-HO-HO -- According to a study commissioned by USA Today, the average department store Santa works an 8 to 10 hour day, 30 to 40 days of the year, and earns $15 to $35 an hour wearing a Santa suit that costs $600 to $3500.  The more expensive suits include features like moisture-resistant pants, a jerk-proof beard and a hidden flask compartment that accommodates a half pint of Southern Comfort.

HOMECOMING -- In Glendale, CA, a camel named “Atula” featured in the Ramos Brothers Circus currently playing in town escaped from her handlers and disrupted traffic on a nearby freeway until police Fish and Game officers intervened.  Vets theorize she was searching for family members from whom she was separated after working as extras on "Lawrence of Arabia."

Contents Copyright (c) 2012 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.