TUESDAY, April 2, 2013

SACRED STOPWATCH -- Rookie Pope Francis is turning out to be the most unorthodox pontiff in recent history.  On the job less than a month and already he's moved into a scaled down apartment, worked the crowds without bodyguards, and shortened his usual daily Mass by half.  And he shortens everything.  Nuns around the world are struggling to get used to a rosary with three beads and a pewter medal of the Madonna -- not the Blessed Virgin, the singer.

THE WINNER IS... -- UCLA has signed basketball coach  Steve Alford to a seven year, $18.2 million contract.   After vetting many candidates, the Athletic Department finally settled on Alford although the choice wasn't easy.   The search was narrowed to three highly qualified candidates -- Alford, Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un.

BARREL OF FUN -- Authorities in Germany refused to admit  Jason Bieber's capuchin monkey at the Munich Airport.   The animal was almost through Customs when the agents finally concluded that he looked too friendly for Jason's agent, too kind to be his lawyer.  And he presented a suspicious passport signed by Jack Hanna.

LAP RIDERS -- To relieve rampant diamond lane congestion, The California Highway Department may require carpools to have at least three riders rather than two.  Could be a problem, though.  With layoffs so common, it's almost impossible to find three employees who work for the same company.

PORKY -- Animal right advocates in Spain are demanding that the government ban the ancient and cruel art of "pigsticking," best described as a fox hunt for bacon lovers. We have nothing in the U.S. even remotely similar -- unless you count "Real Housewives of Orange County."  
(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved)

THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- Dionne Warwick appeared on the Bob Hope special entitled "Hope on Campus" at the University of  Notre Dame.   View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else!  Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92.  Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov).  Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget! 


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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.