THURSDAY, April 4, 2013

LOOKALIKES -- New Yorkers are flocking to Madame Tussuad's to see their recently unveiled  Britney Spears figure.  First-time visitors appear confused by the similarity of Britany to the nearby Lindsay Lohan figure -- until they notice that Lindsay's statue  has a wick at both ends.

RUN IT UP THE FLAG POLE -- Pfizer Pharmaceuticals marks the 15th anniversary of their life-changing product, Viagra.  The company will never forget April 12, 1998.  Four hours after the new product was released, phone calls from doctors all over the country flooded their switchboard asking if their patients were just bragging... or what?

WALMARITAL.COM -- Walmart has begun hiring in-store customers to deliver products ordered on line to neighbors who live nearby.  The program has produced an unexpected benefit.  During the six-month test period, 37% of the participants began dating -- with three marriages resulting so far.

FLIGHT DECK MIXER -- Addressing internal battery problems plaguing its new 787 Dreamliner, Boeing is retraining its pilots to apply battery power only after amp meters have been checked to be sure all appliances have been deactivated -- like the flight deck party ice-crusher, often left on for the pilot's the pre-flight Margarita.

RUBBER MISMATCH -- Seniors in Oklahoma are being cautioned to beware of Medicare scammers who have been targeting older homes with ramps, offering their elderly residents $300 Michelin wheelchair tires which they claim stop on a dime in front of any restaurant with an Early Bird Dinner menu.

(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved)

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Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.