FRI, SAT, April 5, 6, 2013

NUMBER ONE SON -- It's official.  Jay Leno and Burbank will be replaced in the Spring by Jimmy Fallon and New York.  In an attempt to appease Jay, NBC has promised him a juicy role as a wise proverb-quoting detective in a planned crime drama now in development.  Inspired by the popular Charlie Chan movies of the 1940s, the new series will be called "Charlie Chin."

ALAS, I KNEW HIM WELL -- Researchers have discovered that one of England's earliest millionnaires had, like many since, income tax problems.  In fact, his ongoing feud with the Nottingham tax collector would occasionally sneak into his work.  For instance, the famous line from Hamlet originally went "To be audited or not to be audited, that is the question."

CHEW CHEW BOOGIE -- Wrigley has announced success by its scientists in formulating a chewing gum that has the caffeine in two cups of coffee per stick.  Kind of surprising, isn't it?   Didn't we all conclude it would take a Starbuck's to figure out yet one more way to stick it to us? 

HI-TEST DECAF -- According to a London Daily Mail article, a UK inventor has come up with a way to run an internal combustion engine on coffee.   Will be convenient, you have to admit, if not more economical.  You'll be able to refuel your car and yourself from the same pump at a Starbuck's Drive-thru.

VELVET ROPED -- A recent study on childhood health disclosed that the number injuries suffered by teens while dancing are at their highest level ever.  Most ERs report sprained ankles, displaced hips, and in Hollywood, abrasions sustained while being shoved aside by Lindsay Lohan entering a club at 3 am.

(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved) 

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