WOOLLY WONDERS -- Bowing to demands from environmentalists, the Paris Public Parks Department will employ herds of sheep to replace pollution-causing gasoline mowers. The French have always had unique solutions to gardening challenges, haven't they? Snails? No problem. We'll eat 'em!
YOU'RE GETTING SLEEPY -- ATR Computational Neuroscience Laboratories in Kyoto has designed a program that can interpret dreams with 80% accuracy. Beyond its Freudian applications as a psychiatric aid, the company hopes to partner with ChristianMingle.com to help people find the love of their dreams.
WILD MUSHROOMS -- The Pentagon has reacted to the most serious threat to world peace since the Cuban missile crisis by moving our anti-ballistic missile defenses closer to Guam. If this doesn't scare Kim Jong Un, they may consider the unthinkable -- sending in Rutger's former Athletic Department.
WATCH THE BIRDIE -- Victims of inexpensive digital cameras and phones, all 800 Sears baby photo studios will close. Don't feel bad for the suddenly jobless photographers, though -- they've all been transferred to Sears's Allstate Insurance department to take pictures of customers bowling after filing a whiplash claim.
(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved)
THANKS FOR THE MEMORY -- A veteran of the "Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts," FOSTER BROOKS appeared as a guest on Bob Hope's special opening the Gerald R. Ford Museum in Grand Rapids, Mich. View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else! Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92. Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov). Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget! www.youtube.com/thelaughmakers