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THURSDAY, March 24, 2011

According to statistics compiled by the Centers for Disease Control, life expectancy in the US has reached 78 years.  To put that in laymen’s terms, the researchers calculated that 78 is the new Keith Richards.

Sarah Palin is on her way to Tel Aviv for a fact-finding tour of kabutzes in Israel.  She told reporters she’s been in no rush to fly there since she can see the Gaza Strip Mall from her front porch in Wasilla.

A former teacher was convicted of helping terrorists ship paint-ball pellets to Pakistan.  And none too soon.  President Obama received several top-secret reports from under-cover agents at Sherwin-Williams that the Pakistanis have been manufacturing colors of mass saturation.

According to a paper published by the AMA, a study of 6,000 seniors shows that men who never exercise are five times more likely to suffer a fatal heart attack during sex.  Forget the paper -- get that on the Viagra label!

Sandra Bullock donated $1 million to earthquake survivors in Japan.  Even more impressive, there are reports that Lady Gaga is seriously considering a request to auction off one of her ga’s.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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