;

FRI, SAT, SUN, March 25, 26, 27, 2011

INS agents arrested a group of illegal aliens trying to march across the border disguised as Marine Corps recruits.  The ruse came close to working, too, until an agent noticed they were singing “From the Halls of Montezuma’s Revenge… “

A condom manufacturer has begun printing advertisements.  Mostly for intimacy products, but the student model displays the crest of the wearer’s alma mater and the warning:  “Warranty Void If Stored In Wallet For Over One year.”

An increase in prescriptions is being credited for the recent 10% rise in Walgreen’s profits.  Major reason for the spike is the decision of most major medical schools to include penmanship training.

For the first time in its history, a former sumo wrestler competed in the Los Angeles Marathon.  Even more impressive, the runner collected $3,000 in endorsement fees for the Depends ad printed on his diaper.

The perjury trial of diamond legend Barry Bonds is now in full swing.  Appearances aside, maybe not a good idea for Barry to have been playing liars dice with the bailiff during the prosecutor’s opening statement.
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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004IZLXIQ