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MONDAY, March 21, 2011

Fed up paying inflated salaries, placating overbearing players’ agents and coddling a bunch of over-indulged primadonnas, NFL owners have staged a lockout of their players.  Big deal.  Now, if they could convince Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz, Madonna and the Kardashians to lock them out, they’d have something.

After nearly a decade of intense debate and discussion, Internet overseer Icann has formally approved “.xxx” as the official pornography domain.  By a razor-thin margin, members of the ruling board picked the winner over runners-up “.kar” for the Kardashians and “.hil” for Paris Hilton. 

The state of Utah has become the first in the nation to name an official state firearm, the Browning M1911 automatic.  No poster child yet, but they’ll bestow that honor on the first kid who gets into his dad’s official state gun case carelessly left unlocked and officially shoots the next door neighbor‘s kid.

An oceanographer from Bangor University in the UK has filmed thresher sharks off the Philippine coast regularly visiting “cleaner stations” to allow smaller fish to nibble off parasites and dead skin.  Sharks who order “The Works” also receive a fin manicure and have the hairs plucked from their gills.

The fabled Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas, once home to the legendary “Rat Pack,”  is being raised to make way for a larger, more garish monument to greed, excess and depravity.  But not in the usual fashion.  The cast of “The Hangover” will be allowed to demolish it during the filming of “Hangover II.”

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!

DOLORES HOPE MEDLEY

DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?


"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.

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