MAKE-A-WISH -- The Australian dept. of Health & Safety has banned candles on children's birthday cakes as a health hazard. The danger was discovered by school cafeteria food inspectors who decided to analyse the "Salmonella Sparklers" sold by Party Tots of Sydney.
SCALES OF JUSTICE -- A Florida man bounty hunting pythons in the Everglades was caught by game wardens with an illegal live 15-footer in his skiff. He told officers he just couldn't bear to kill the reptile and had even given it a nickname -- "Monty."
STROKE AND DISTANCE -- Police in Purcell, Oklahoma found that someone had converted a golf course bathroom into a meth lab. What's the penalty if your ball lands in a meth lab? Same as when it lands in cocaine -- both are considered sand traps.
STARTING GATE -- A CBS news investigation discovered that race tracks have been selling meat from horses that had to be put down to Chinese food processors. Aha! That accounts for the popularity of the Pimlico Burger with Rice at Panda Express.
EARTH MOVEMENT -- A study of Americans' over reliance on electronic devices found that the average male reaches for his I-Pad simultaneous with his partner's climax -- most often to e-mail the last guy she dated to find out her name.
SUBLIMINAL -- Ultra-protective batting helmets are now required of each major league player who steps up to the plate. Players have, by and large, accepted the padded, thicker plastic but are having a problem with the continuous loop, recorded message "No steroids... no steroids... no steroids... "
BRINY WINERY -- Noticing that wine found in shipwrecks has a distinctive flavor, Mira Winery of Napa Valley will age 48 bottles of 2009 Cabernet in the Atlantic Ocean for three months. If successful, other wineries will follow. Not good news for Charlie the Tuna who has been sober going on 27 years come August.
BOW WOW -- Eager for ways to raise cash, the U.S. Postal Service will launch a designer clothing line to be called "Rain Heat and Snow." The sportswear will come in assorted colors and, as an added bonus, the mens' trousers will be treated with a chemical dog repellent.
SATAN BE GONE -- A Tennessee accountant quit his job after receiving a W-2 form from his employer cambered "666." Probably wasn't that good with numbers anyway. He read the form upside down. It actually said "999."
(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills All Rights Reserved)
View over 550 classic vintage video clips of Bob Hope Specials available nowhere else! Each are dated the year they originally aired on NBC from the 1977-78 season to 1991-92. Included are segments from 1978's "Bob Hope Down Under" from Perth, Australia and 1979's "Bob Hope in China" taped in Peking and Shanghai (with Mikhail Baryshnikov). Take a trip down Memory Lane that you won't soon forget!