FRI, SAT, February 8, 9, 2013

WASHING A STRAIGHT LINE -- Legislators in Salem, Oregon are considering a bill that would expand the definition of DUI to include prescription drugs, inhalants and bath salts.  More unwarranted government intervention.  Anyone who can figure out how to get a bathtub into a car has earned the right do it.

BUY ME SOME PEANUTS -- What's believed to be the first dated baseball card printed in 1865 and showing the Brooklyn Atlantics sold at an auction in Maine for $92,000.  The team won the league championship in 1861, 1864 and 1865 but were wracked by scandal in 1866 when their ace pitcher Lefty Grove tested positive for performance enhancing sarsaparilla.


PRIME RIBBED -- Mathematicians at the University of Central Missouri have identified the largest prime number divisible only by itself -- 57,885,161.  The elusive prime was discovered by chance when someone divided the financial losses suffered by the GOP by running Mitt Romney into the amount Lance Armstrong owes the Post Office.

TUNE TIME -- As if Apple needed more success stories, ITunes has reached a milestone once thought impossible, selling their 25 billionth song entitled "Monkey Drums" by Chase Buch.  Just proves the old adage:  Give people those popular ditties they love and they'll flock to your door.


CHEERS -- Lindsay Lohan has a new half-brother thanks to her dad Michael's girlfriend giving birth to a baby boy.  Lindsay couldn't be more thrilled.  In fact, she's already bought the new arrival a baby seat with a built-in cocktail holder.

(Contents Copyright (c) 2013 by Robert L. Mills  All Rights Reserved)

Just in time for Cupid's Day next Thursday!  Gloria, our Singing Dog, performs "My Funny Valentine" backed by the Doberman Pupernackle Choir.  The perfect gift for your loved one...

Charlene Tilton


While Bob Hope had definite ideas about how he wanted our sketches performed by his guest stars, sometimes, a less-than-stellar performance by the usual standards would provide unexpected comedic dividends. There was an actress on the real Dallas named Charlene Tilton whom we had as a guest. About five feet tall, she was bubbly and appeared to get a great deal of enjoyment out of life. 

We cast Charlene in a parody of the sitcom Happy Days opposite Hope as the “Fonz.” Like Susan Anton, she consistently telegraphed the laughs, but did so in such a charming and disarming way. Hope realized she rought an additional element of entertainment to the sketch (which, if I recall correctly, it needed). Moreover, when Charlene flubbed a line, she’d break up and go into hysterics, sometimes literally kneeling on the floor.

Whenever Hope sensed he was getting interesting outtakes, he’d tell the director to keep the tape rolling. This was one of those times — in spades. Over the years, he ended up with some priceless flubs and bloopers which were used in NBC’s promos for the show and on Hope’s obligatory
Tonight Show appearance.  “Save that one for Carson,” he’d say.  We got some irreplaceable classics from Miss Tilton.

See the sketch at 

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The Laugh Makers on YouTube


THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!


DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


Even Animals Love "THE YouTube WORLDWIDE NEWS"!

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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.