THURSDAY, February 2, 2012

A four-year-old kindergartner in Connecticut brought nine baggies stuffed with pot for "show-and-tell."  His teacher wasn't the least bit surprised.  She'd been watching him since she noticed that he was coloring with psychedelic colors that she knew Crayola doesn't make.

For the first time since it opened, people working with visitors at Disneyland will be allowed to grow a beard.  The straitlaced outfit really hasn't conceded that much, however.  Married male employees dating another Disney employee in public are still barred from using the services of a beard.

Beginning with the Australian Open, ladies who scream while striking the ball will be penalized to discourage the practice.  Good news for the retired Monica Seles, though.  She's been told she won't have to return any of the royalties she collected every time a fem netster grunted during a televised match.

Shocking most Americans who read it, the results of a UK study on driving habits indicate that women are better at parking than men.  Of course, it's a British study that observed Brit drivers.  Over there, men tend to be more distracted because most of them suffer from constant toothaches.

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THE LAUGH MAKERS: A Leonard Maltin "Top 20" Year End Pick!


DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.