FRI, SAT, SUN, February 10, 11, 12, 2012

Seventy-eight-year old Joan Rivers confided to CNN 360's Anderson Cooper that she has undergone 734 plastic surgeries.  The reason she's counting is that as soon as she reaches 747, she's been offered a job as celebrity spokesperson for Boeing.

Two Princess cruise liners packed with passengers were suddenly stricken by a mysterious virus that stumped ships' doctors.  WHO entomologists are trying to track the origin of the germs and so far are certain they're not from Italy because they stayed on the ships.

The National Assembly of the Republic of North Korea passed a measure forbidding the use of cell phones anywhere in the country.  Loudest complaints came from North Korea's top fashion models -- now they have nothing to throw at their maids.

Rabbis nationwide were stunned by a report in the National Post that members of their congregations are secretly buying battery-powered sexual aids online.  Favorite among the Jewish couples is FantasyWorld's "Hava  Negila Massager."  While it vibrates, it plays a disco version of Barbra Streisand's "Not Tonight I Have a Headache" 

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DOLORES HOPE "Silver Bells" (with Bob)

BOB HOPE'S 1983 U.S. COLLEGE CAMPUS TOUR: Your Alma Mater Here?

"Having spent twenty years writing for the indefatigable Bob Hope, and traveling all over the world, Bob Mills is well qualified to salute the famous corps of gag men who kept the comedian knee-deep in jokes. These first-hand recollections summon up the final phase of Hope’s career—and the end of the trail for an entire brand of show business."


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WakiLeaks: History Declassified 2000 (Vol. One) is now available on Kindle for $2.99

Compiled from Bob's newsletter "Funnyside Up" published in 2000. This is a yuck and chuckle-filled stroll down memory lane to a time before the Bush administration had inflicted its damage -- a time before the search for WMDs and Osama bin Laden. See what we were laughing at back then, who was in the news and who had yet to enter rehab -- which NFL stars had yet to do time in the Gray Bar Hotel.